I hope everyone had a relaxing Thanksgiving. But the truth is, most of you probably didn’t. Many of my readers probably missed their children because it wasn’t their year for Thanksgiving (myself included). Others, had them but they talked about “last year with _______, we did ______, and it was awesome”, while you smile politely and try to sound excited. Lastly, there are the co-parents who have the shittiest deal, and have to swap halfway through the day. These agreements are written by attorneys who obviously are not divorced, and do not know that seeing your ex halfway through the day and having to deal with children in transition sucks giant hairy donkey balls. It all sucks no matter which of the above you were this Thanksgiving.
All that said, we don’t need a holiday to be grateful. Besides, we celebrate the Natives assisting the Pilgrims in the month which has been assigned Native American Heritage Month (bet you didn’t even know we had one of those), in which we pretend all is well. But, it’s like watching the Titanic movie, we know the damn thing sinks and we feel the same about Thanksgiving thinking, “run, they’re gonna take your shit! Also, thanks for the corn.”
I know it’s hard, life is hard. But, we can choose how we view it. I feel like all I do is work and do chores. What does that mean? It means I’m employed. I wash dishes because I have food to eat, and people to eat it with. I do mountains of laundry and wash millions of tiny socks because I have two beautiful daughters. I scrub out dog crates because I have companions that I don’t have to explain myself to and they are always happy to see me. I have floors to mop because I own my own home and I want it to be well maintained. I fall in the toilet at 4AM because I have a fabulous male friends who accidentally leave the seat up.
You don’t need to stand around a table and talk about what you are grateful for once per year while secretly being pissed when, “fuck, that’s what I was going to say.” You can choose to be grateful for those you have even if it isn’t 100% of the time. I’ve heard about gratitude journals but I’ve never been disciplined to keep up with one. I simply make note that when my kids are upstairs screaming at each other, that I would never do without one just to stop the yelling. The truth is, life is tough and as co-parents, we have a whole other set of rules and dynamics. That said, we can embrace them and appreciate what we do have. I don’t know about you, but I’d take those two girls 50% over 0% anytime.