Happy Thanksgiving – Be Grateful, Not Homicidal

Thanksgiving Edited

See that woman up there?  Do you remember her?  Yeah, me neither.  My mom gave it a good run but it always ended in her pretending to be that lady up there, and instead terrified the rest of us.  Ten bucks says that woman up there isn’t even that woman.  No one is that damn happy.  Happy holidays!

In all seriousness though, holidays are stressful.  Does anyone not cringe when they see the holiday decorations appear in stores or hear Christmas music in the mall?  How have we allowed this magical time of year to become such a stressful burden?

This year I can confidently say, with Thanksgiving 3 days away that my “rest of the year self” has finally taken hold of my “holiday self” and beaten it into submission.  I am not stressed and I am not panicked.  I do not spend the holidays (or any other time if I can help it) with people I don’t like or that make me feel bad about myself anymore (I used to feel obligated, but I found this passes with age).  As such, if I mess something up, they will forgive me and therefore, there is no need to worry.  The key here is who you choose to surround yourself with.  Learning to say “no” helps here.  Avoid twatwaffles.  If they show up, add wine.

Thanksgiving is not about having the perfect family because no one does; more than half the population is divorced folks.  It is not about being the perfect cook; thank goodness because my family is screwed there.  It’s not about having a perfectly decorated house; by the time I remember to decorate I don’t feel like dragging that shit out, just to put it away again two weeks later.

Thanksgiving is about being grateful that your kids love you unconditionally even though you are an idiot.  It is about being glad you have someone to fuck up (yes, I said “fuck” in a holiday post, that’s just how I roll), cooking dinner for in the first place.  It’s about having had a relationship to make these beautiful kids even if it failed (maybe it’ll teach you something for the next one).  Thanksgiving is awesome because it isn’t about buying crap for people out of obligation and running up debt.  It’s about hanging out with people you like and eating (which is always fun) and drinking (also one of my favorite things) and bullshitting (because they like you too and want to listen).

Thanksgiving is about being grateful, not about being perfect.  This Thanksgiving, focus on your family not on obligations or appearances.

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