There will always be someone who is stronger, smarter, prettier, and more charming (and can walk in heels). But sometimes, even though I know this, I get something in my head and then realize, long after, that I am a FREAKING IDIOT.
Allow me to provide an example for you. I used to read every parenting magazine and book I could get my hands on. Since our mother died young and we were never exposed to children, my sister and I had to completely wing parenting. I remember reading some things that were helpful and some that I was just glad I didn’t have to deal with such as, “How to keep your toddler from smearing poo on their walls at naptime”. YAY! One bullet dodged.
I once read an article about ideal foods for children. It actually explained not to let your children eat raw eggs or raw meat. I remember thinking “no shit, thanks.” I even remember talking to my sister about how I was done with parenting reading material because it wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know.
I still remember reading this article and feeling superior. But again, I’m an idiot. Fast forward, and I am baking brownies with my daughters. Once they were in the oven, the girls happily licked the spoon and cleaned out the bowl, just as we did when we were kids. As they ran off to clean themselves up, I was wiping down the counters and guess what I remembered? WE ADDED 2 UNCOOKED EGGS TO THE BROWNIE BATTER THAT THEY JUST ATE. That’s right, superiority destroyed. Apparently they do have to tell people not to let their children eat raw eggs because there are people as dumb as myself out there.
No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Pointing out others’ mistakes only serves to make yourself feel superior. No one needs that. So do your ex, your children, and most importantly yourself a favor and let it go. My children didn’t die and the next time we baked, I admitted my mistake and explained why they couldn’t lick the spoon. They learned some important lessons:
- Mommy doesn’t know everything (no one does) and she isn’t afraid to admit that
- To admit your mistakes when you are wrong
- To always offer an explanation as to why you are changing your mind not just because you “said so”
What does this mean for you? I know I am always telling you to go easy on your ex and you should. But don’t forget to go easy on yourself as well. Everyone messes up. You are human. Besides, being right all the time isn’t realistic. Your kids need to see that you are fallible as well. You are their role model, and they need to know that you are not perfect and you do not expect them to be.